The Gift of Christmas

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The Gift of Christmas

By Paula Deen

Celebrity has given me plenty of opportunities that I never imagined having. I’ve met so many incredible people and have traveled to places I didn’t even know existed. And while I’ve always been and always will be Paula, I haven’t always had this celebrity attached to my name. There’s no guaranteeing that’ll be here tomorrow. But this family and me, and the memories we’ve made, will.

We’ve had our share of hurt feelings and disappointments—as you can probably guess, this Southern girl has a hard time bitin’ her tongue, and my boys don’t mince words either. But we always find a way to come back together—we tighten our floppy jaws and try to be better next time, remembering that life is so much more fun spent with the folks who know you best and love you in spite of it.

But my Christmas memories always warm my heart. Growing up, we didn’t get a ton of toys or holiday vacations to Disney World, but somehow I still managed to get everything I wanted. One year it was a bicycle and Mary Hartline doll. Years later it would be Michael asking me to be his wife. These two Christmases and all the ones in between never let me down, though my loyalties to the season have been tried some. There was that one Christmas when the needles completely fell from my tree well before the big day. Everybody thought I’d lose my marbles over it because I’m so particular about my tree. They tried not to laugh, but I could see them holding it back when they looked at my naked little tree. So I decided to swallow my pride and laugh along with them. Soon all the neighbors would be dropping by just to see it and we’d laugh ourselves silly. The ugliest tree somehow worked out to be the best of them all.

You see, I’ve always preferred to count my blessing rather than my sorrows. But like y’all, when I’m looking around my Christmas table each year, taking inventory of my children, family and friends, I can’t help but notice the folks who are missing. Namely, my momma and daddy.

Momma and Daddy never got to sit down for a Christmas dinner and listen to their grandchildren’s laughter. They never got to see my boys light up when they thought they heard the pitter-patter of reindeer hooves on the rooftop, or hear them race to the tree before dawn, their eyes foggy and their hair lookin’ like they were caught in a rainstorm.

And more than all that, they never got to see how big and strong this family would continue to grow even after their passing.

Momma and Daddy didn’t have the chance to teach me everything they knew, but I can’t help but think they must’ve taught me enough because this Christmas I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by children, relatives and friends. Of all the legacies we can leave, a loving family is the one that matters most.

I’d like to wish y’all a very Merry Christmas this year, whether yours is spent with family, friends or even just the fondest memories of both. And I hope it brings you so much joy.

Read More From Holiday.

Read More From Christmas.

Reader Comments:

Paula, I have been a fan of yours ever since you started on tv. You are such an inspiration. You started from nothing and perserved until you made it in life. I came from a very large family and never had very much as far as material things in my life, but we had a lot of love. My mother was a wonderful cook. We always had a lot of things that she baked and that made up for the material things. I miss her very much. but I have my 9 brothers and sisters that love each other very much.Thanks for being the down to earth person that you are. Barbara

By BarbaraMason on December 04, 2011

Merry Christmas, I just caught your Christmas show. I enjoyed it so much. The family as elves, hysterical! And when.bubba was flailing around in the floor. Laughed so hard I cried. Thank you so much for wonderful recipes, laughter and joy. You are the absolute best! Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine.

By Betty on December 03, 2011

Dear Paula, Just stopping by to wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas season. I have encouraged all my facebook family and friends to post their Christmas trees and decorations on facebook for everyone to see. Many of our friends and relatives live too far to visit so this is a way for all of us to see everyone's beautiful decorations. It just seems to bring us all closer together. I love seeing all your beautiful decorations and hearing about your family. Best to you and your family throughout this season and in the New Year.

By Judie Blandin on December 03, 2011

Mz. Paula - I must say --- I had no idea that I would be spending my Friday night surrounded by opened cardboard boxes of Christmas decorations, tangled tree lights, gingerbread cookie dough, my puppy doggy, BAWWWWWLING MY EYES OUT over your heartfelt note. Legacies are a sacred piece of our lives. Traditions that have come and gone ... come around again ... carving out another virtual scrapbook for a magical & melancholy time of year. Thank you for lovingly standing so radiant in the place of your Momma and Daddy, taking the time to teach us, remind us ... to savor in all the flavors of the season. And all that THAT entails! Here's to you and yours - and a season full of believing, hoping, giving, loving, and savoring the people, places, and special things in your every sacred moment. Sappy! But hey, it had to be said! With adoration and respect, Stacia "Stace" Davies xox

By Stace Davies on December 02, 2011

Ms. Paula, This is the first time that I have come on your site to write you, but I feel like I've talked to you so much before. I'll explain when I was pregnant with all three of my boys I watched you so many nights. I would laugh with you and talk to you as you cooked. I know it might sound like I'm crazy but watching you made me think that YOU are exactly how I want to be as a mother, and now as a Ginny. My boys are now 8 (Scotty), 7 (Corbyn), and 5 (Riley). I am now 28 years old and am seeing my oldest two boys through cancer and autism. My oldest boy, Scotty, was diagnosed in March 2011 and my middle boy, Corbyn was recently diagnosed in October 2011 with autisim, asperger's syndrom to be specific. That doesn't leave out my baby either lol. He has chronic asthma that he's had since he was 3. My plate is pretty full to say the least. To add to it my husband was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. So I have been in and out of "ruts" so to say. But when I watch your shows, I makes me feel like I'm at home, sitting in the kitchen with my Granny Rogers and Granny Patsy, just a little girl quitely watching and taking notes of how to cook and with what to make things not taste bitter and such. You make me smile and laugh and REMEMBER that the good times are the ones that we should remember and learn from the bad times. Whether or not you know it you are a part of family, my life and my heart. I hope the happiest and most joyous of holidays. Love and laughter, Jenn <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 = 5 hearts, 1 family

By Jennifer Rogers-Gower on December 02, 2011

Dear Paula, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to come. You bring such joy to people and you are a blessing in our lives. So many people have come and gone from our family table at holidays. This year I will be missing my husband. But your words make me realize that there is still family there depending on me and wanting me to be there to share another Christmas with them. I even now have a brand new grandbaby. Such a blessing! Thank you for everything you do for everyone. God bless you, Nancy K

By Nancy on December 02, 2011

I had five sisters and brothers growing up and we were not rich or poor, my father worked tons of hours. He retired from the railroad and my mother from the local hospital as a RN. She always made everything special with the cooking and watching Christmas movies and the smell of a Frasier Fur we had to have! Our house smelled of dreams and cheer! Never a quiet moment. We did not get tons of things for Christmas, 2 or 3 gifts and usually things we needed but it was all the other little things she did that mad our life in December a special one! We did bake days and cook days and making cards day and on and on. You remind me of my mother in many ways. Have a Wonderful and fun filled Christmas! Gloria

By Gloria on December 02, 2011

Paula I remember getting some great stuff every Christmas, my favorite was my 8-track player with the Hank Williams Sr. 8 track, I remember I was pass Santa so I opened all my gifts Christmas Eve. Mom & Dad took turns dancing with me we must have danced 2 hours until I passed out. That morning I also received a tether ball, tape recorder, and many more great gifts. After breakfast I got dress and went outside to play with I little neighbor ,we told each other what we got, and than she dropped the bomb shell and said your Mama got all your stuff from a garage sale, I puffed up and tried to hold my tears in before I got inside, my mom was at the kitchen sink washing the morning dishes I couldnt believe this I wasn't worth more than a garage sale. I went over to my mom and ask her about my toys I remember her face looked like mine when I found out, she told me that her and my little friends had went garage saling weeks before a came upon a place where everything was brand new still in the plastic, never opened. I was sad for about an hour than we went outside and put up my tether ball, boy what a hit that was my friends and I played hours on that thing, and my tape recorder, I would record my Mom and I would make her sing and I would do interviews and we would laugh and laugh, I would sneak up front with it and get my dad to start telling me a story and go back and listen to it with mom a giggle. I also remember recording my friends and having that best time with that garage sale toy. I wish Christmas could be that simple anymore, that was my best Christmas I ever had and the greatest memories from my Garage Sale Christmas. Mom is gone now, I'd give anything to get that Christmas back.

By Suellen Hebert on December 02, 2011

Dear Paula: What a wonderful story!! My best Christmas memorie is pretty recent. I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder in August 2008 and spent 4 months in the hospital. I was a very sick lady. Anyway once I was released from the hospital I had to go to a care facility for awhile to rebuild strength. I was at the care facility Christmas 2008 and we got snow that year and quite a bit of it which is unusual in the area we live in. It just doesn't snow here. My daughter, bless her heart, came to the facility to pick me up so we could spend Christmas together. We got stuck trying to enter the road out of the facility, but eventually made it home to her house. Since the weather had been bad for several days she wasn't going shopping for pressies. We stopped at her heighborhood Walgreen's and she bought a gift for my granddaughter(she's eight now) to give her from Grandma. We didn't have turkey or a traditional Christmas dinner, (bad weather) instead we had scrambled eggs and biscuits and gravy. It was the best because I was with the people I love most, my beautiful daughter, Carrie, my wonderful son-in-law, Chris and my beautiful, sweet and loving granddaughter, Cydny. I have a step-granddaughter, Rachel who is beautiful and sweet, too, but she lives in the Puget Sound area and her and her husband Jacob have a little boy named Noah (he turned one last May). The dinner was delicious and Cydny loved her pressie from Grandma. I thank God every day for my wonderful family and that he wasn't ready for me in 2008. I am 55 years young now, but 52 when diagnosed. To me this is what Christmas and the spirit of Christmas is all about! God Bless to the Deen Family and that includes Michael too!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year sweet lady. By Judy(Jude)Sorenson on December 2, 2011

By Judy L. Sorenson on December 02, 2011

That was the best thing I have ever read. I am having a tough Christmas this year with my Mother and Sister both having cancer and I am at a loss for how to keep everything going and acting like everything is fine but somehow I keep doing it with the grace of God. My Sister is only 3 years older than me and Hospice has been called in and it is only a matter of time and my Mother is stage 4 undergoing extreme chemo. It was nice to read about someone elses trials and tests. I have all of your cookbooks and try to cook whenever I can get away from work and family obligations. I think the only time I relax at this point is when something is in the oven. Thanks for all your shows, books and positive attitude - you have made me a better person. Merry Christmas to you and your family. P.S. Don't ever change a thing!

By Tammy Stroud on December 02, 2011

My great Christmas memory just happened last night. One of our local news stations lights their television tower every year for the holidays--they have a choir singing Christmas carols, and most of the broadcast is devoted to the "tower lighting". I was sitting on the couch watching the broadcast with my daughter that my husband and I adopted last year from China. We waited so long for a child to complete our family, and a child has been our only "Christmas Wish" for many years. I had a miserable cold,my husband was away at a meeting, and it was starting to snow. All of a sudden the choir struck up "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"--my daughter jumped off the couch, grabbed my hands and started to dance. We both got up and danced around the family room, giggling wildly and I wept with joy when I realized my Christmas was right their in the room with me--madly dancing with joy at the thought of Santa Claus coming. Christmas will never be the same--I am so grateful and so blessed.

By Jenny on December 02, 2011

That story Paula takes me back to my past, and it's a good feeling. I'll never forget being at my grandma's house on Christmas Eve and her singing Beautiful Star of Bethlehem while I plaid the accordian. She wanted Christmas to be more than food and gifts and the words to that old song made us all think about what's really important. Just to look back and see her little hands clappin as she sang that song really makes me happy and gets me choked-up at the same time. God Bless.

By Ron Chastain on December 02, 2011

Hi Paula, I have had many wonderful christmas in the past,but this year will mean alot to me. I look forward to speending the day with my parents both in thier 70's and my wife who I know will beat her cancer. Thank you for all your wonderful shows and recipes. We enjoy the time together laughing as we prepare and cook all the wonderful food. Keep up the great work and know you bring joy to all.

By Thomas marxo, Jr. on December 02, 2011

Not only do you have a smile full of love but you always know what to say to make peoples hearts just fill up with love. You're a present yourself Paula and your family is lucky to have you. Merry Christmas and may God's blessings continue to rain down on you and your family.

By Rhodna Wright on December 02, 2011

Paula,
Just wanted to say like so many other women out there you are a true inspiration to have a real down to earth girl out there that everyone can relate to. I know that you have made some kind of impact on my kids because for christmas this year they spent all their hard earned money buying me new “Paula Deen” knives,cutting boards and other utensils from Wal-Mart for their momma so I could throw out my old junkie stuff. Besides loving it because my kids bought it, the stuff is awesome…they want to earn more at work so that they can buy me more of your great product..I think because your boys are such a big part of it all has inspired them. They both love to cook and both work in resturants..like their momma does…keep on cookin’ girl!

By diane evans on December 27, 2009

Dear Sweet Paula,
I’ve never written before, but I just have to write today and wish you and your family the best New Year in 2010 ever. I’m a southern boy from Knoxville TN. And such a fan of all things “Paula Deen & Family. I check in with your shows and websites just like a check in with my own family every day. Living out here in Salt Lake City sometimes makes me feel isolated but turning on the TV and seeing and feeling your warmth and southern charm just feels like “going home”.
I can’t wait to meet you someday (hopefully on one of the cruises) until then ....feel the love and prayers…

Jay in Salt Lake City

By Jay Lamm on December 27, 2009

Hi Paula,
Thanks for the wonderful article and sharing your memories with us! My whole family knows I am a big Paula Deen fan—I just got your book Paula Deen A Memoir-It Ain’t all About the Cookin’ it was the best christmas gift I got next to spending christmas with my family—I am on Chapter 13——I can not put the book down-not even to cook and I love to cook—You are one of them rare and geninue hard to find people in today’s world. I try to watch all of your shows with a little of A. Bourdain tossed in(he is so hot-every woman wants to travel with him-LOL.) Thanks again for sharing,
Sherrol

By Sherrol on December 27, 2009

Hi Paula, I just took a road trip to Canada, and bought your book on CD. I had no idea that your life was so difficult and filled with pain before you became “the” Paula Dean. I am amazed at all of your hard work and determination - it completely blew me away. Your brutal honesty about that relationship with the married man almost stopped me in my tracks. God bless you for sharing yourself, warts and all. I can truly say that all of your blessings are richly deserved. May all of your years be as blessed as the past few.

By Aislinn on December 26, 2009

This Christmas I was unable to get back east to visit my parents and family. I miss them terribly. Especially now that my father and I found my fathers biological father and to find out there are more aunts uncles and cousins in my life. What a blessing! But as I sit here thinking about myself and thinking about how money has kept me from my family I read Paulas little Christmas message and wanted to say that the saying “Count your blessings and not your sorrows! What a smack in the face wake up a call…I need to just get over myself. THanks Paula. Merry Christmas and a many a blessings to your family in the new year…..God Bless us all!

By angierow72 on December 24, 2009

WOW! What a inspiring story and Thank you! It really has cheered up my Christmas. I lost my father when I was 16 to a brain tumor. My mother passed away when I was pregnant with my daughter, who is now 16. My son got to have Christmas memories with my mother as he is now 23 and every year he asks me to make the special cookies that she used to make,GRAPE COOKIES. Holidays are very important to me as they remind you who you are and where you come from. So does the food. If there was one Christmas wish paula that I have,that would be that the world would be filled with people like you,not just at Christmas,but everyday. God Bless and have a VERY JOYOUS HOLIDAY

By wanda reis on December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Paula…Christmas is here again and I will miss my loved ones that will not be with me again this year…my son passed away in 1984; my dad in 1986 and my husband in 1991 but we celebrate Christmas Eve at my home with all of the blessings God has given me…my children and my four beautiful grandchildren so I have alot to be thankful for. Lots of ups and downs but hey that’s life… I love you Paula, you bring alot of joy into my home and my heart, it’s like I have known you all of my life..you are family!!
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours. God Bless You…

By Lupe Lujan on December 24, 2009

Hey Paula,
My name is Rhonda Blackwell,(A.K.A.)Honey Rodee, as my three grandaughters dubbed me.They know that I love you and your shows.The 4-year old saw your new line of pots before I did. She said,“Oh,Mommy we should get those Paula Deena pots for Honey Rodee!We all thought it was so cute so you have a term of endearment at our house,Paula Deena.I read your magazines from cover to cover. I can’t wait until it’s time for another one.Last time I was sick and my husband of 33 years went out and got me a copy.Now isn’t that a sweetie? Well to say that I think you are the cat’s meow would be an understatement.I have learned so much from you and my grand-daughters are learning it too. One day they will cook for me like their mommies do now.Okay I will answer your question, it was a marshmallow in your sweet potato.My comments about your new sight is wonderful.Now I don’t have to go through any other chef,I can get straight to you!My favorite is “Guests in the Kitchen”.The recipes are great but the warmth and true spirit of the guests show in the way they share their families. That was what drew me to you.You are so real,not a southern gal tryin’to put on the dog. You inspire me when you say “you try to look at your positive side of life and let go of the sorrows”.It is hard during the holidays but we have to keep the traditions alive for our grand-children.There is so much history in our recipes. We have to work so our future generation will be able to feed themselves.All that matters is the children and giving them good memories to tell to their families someday.Hard work won’t fail them. I love your story about having $200.00 to your name. But with your southern bred perseverance look at the lives that money is reaching today.When you laugh, I light up all over.You could be a member of my daddy’s family.My aunts’ have that halo of beautiful snowy hair which by the way is a sign of wisdom and not age related. And boy they can all cook and passed it down to me.Keep up the good recipes and “Best wishes and best dishes from our house to yours!Merry Christmas
Rhonda Blackwell

By Rhonda Blackwell on December 24, 2009

Such a truely heartfelt story. I lost my mother in 1992. Never really had a father or any relatives. I have tried to start my own new family traditions with my husband and children. I once read that we only hold the hand of our children for so long but their hearts forever. Family is what is really important. we don’t know how long we have with them. Cherish the time we have with family and good friends.

As for you, I really hope one day i have the pleasure to meet you. You and Ruby ( one of your locals) are two people that I truely admire. This past October I had planned a trip to go to Georgia to eat at Lady and Sons but was thrown from a horse on my birthday and never got to go. I hope to plan the trip again for my birthday in 2010. I wish you and your family blessings this Christmas and New Year.

By DeeDee on December 23, 2009

Paula the article was just great. I love your shows and I think I have every article that has you in it. I have your cookbooks and I love to use the receipts. Keep up the good work and I really hope I can get to the LADY and SONS one day real soon.

By Connie Kibler on December 23, 2009

dear paula,
i just wanted to write to you and say that i was captivated by your story,i too have had a bad past with christmas’si am 38 years old and have 5 kids whom there ages range from 18 down to 5 and i lost my mom when i was 20 and my dad died when i was 30 so it has been very sad without them even after all these years but with my kids i keep a very open mind and enjoy every minute with them .
christmas to me is everydaywith my 5 wonderful children whom keep me laughing and crying at all times and well without your cooking show i really wouldn’t have much to watch because i need to hear your famous line “hi yall” and that lets me know that the best cook is on and that someday i will get to your restaurant because i would love to meet you and enjoy something you made. and would like to share my moms legendary recipes with you.well from my house to yours have a very merry christmas.

By sharalee sokolowski on December 23, 2009

Thank you Paula for your bubbly persona. I enjoy reading your website, watching you cook! This holiday season for us, has been an excellent reminder of the things that matter most and that is family. My youngest granddaughter, Lily was born 11 weeks early on Nov 21. She has been doing so well that her chances of coming home late next month are very good. This Christmas, I put together recipe boxes for my daughter and daughter in law and included some of your recipes. Thank you again for your best dishes!

By Linda on December 23, 2009

There are 2 women who truly inspire me and make me want to be a better person. They keep on keeping on and stay down to earth; with family first for them. I hope to someday meet both of them. Paula Deen and Pat Summitt (coach of the Lady Vols, TN). Paula you are awsome.

By Judy V White on December 23, 2009

Paula you may not remember me,but we went to school together. One thing that makes me laugh is the time in gym when we had to do a dance and you helped me with it. It was about a clown that had a broken heart because he lost his girl and he reached out to bring his heart back to his body.Well I was on my way to making my first A. Only we did not know your gym teacher was coming to my class. She told my teacher we had the same skit and I told them you taught me. They gave you the A and I got the f. Your home was the only one that my parents let me spend the night at. My father knew yours and you and him came to get me. Thanks for my memories even tho you may not remember them.

By Barbara Davis on December 23, 2009

Thank you so much for your inspiring thoughts. So many times we take God’s true blessing for granted, which is our family. We spend so much of the holiday season worrying about what gift to by one another, when we should just be thankful for what we already have. Christmas is a time to be with the people we love and reflect on God’s many blessings. Thank you for being a true southern lady!! Show the world what we’re all about!

By Christy Clark on December 23, 2009

Paula you said, “I’ve always preferred to count my blessings rather than my sorrows.” You are so right! Even in the hardest of times, we can always find a blessing! It is a blessing for me to know that your website and wonderful recipes are right at my fingertips and at the click of my mouse! My computer is located in my kitchen and I cannot tell you how many times I have turned down my stove and went to your website for advice. I also like to tell my Facebook Friends about all of your recipes and you would be surprised at how much they “like” all of them. I liked reading your Christmas message, as it gives us all a glimpse into the life of someone we all admire. I really enjoy the “Kitchen Basics” section and particularly Jamie’s videos. I am a visual learner and I really like any of the videos that demonstrate the recipes and information. My daughter is newly married and really enjoys getting good kitchen basic knowledge. Bobby’s Lighten It Up Section is going to be a big hit, especially after the holidays as everyone will be trying to fit into those jeans again! All in all~you are my “Go to Girl” for wonderful family meals. I love you Paula Deen and I want you to know that you are helping to make me the best cook around! I have to say that I would love to win this starter set for my daughter as she is just getting started in her “Cooking Career,” as a newlywed. These items would help her tremendously! Even if I don’t win~I will be happy for the one that does!:)
Merry Merry Christmas to you and your Family!
Kellie Duke

By Kellie Duke on December 22, 2009

Hey Yall!

I just have to say that Paula, you are the reason I have my catering business today. I have the confidence to carry it through and make it a success simply because of you.

I lost my Dad two Christmases ago. I have my memories and that’s what gets me through each day. I hope to make more memories with my family this year.

Happy Memory Making,

Wanda B. Houchens

By Wanda B. Houchens on December 22, 2009

Thank you so much,(you sweet doll) for the inspiring message and reminder of just what the Christmas holiday spirit is all about, family, friends, & memories. You are such an inspiration! I too am without my parents and have been for quite sometime, my daddy died when I was 13 and my mother in 1995 when I was 32, I try not to drown in my sorrow this time of year but it is hard when they are no longer with you in body, though they will always be in our hearts we can’t help but miss them. I am very blessed with an adoring husband, three beautiful healthy children, a lovely daughter in law and a gorgeous 1 year old granddaughter, (by the way you met her in Oct. at the book signing at Uncle Bubba’s, she was the tinyest fan and made the newspaper), they bring the joy to my heart and we continue to make beautiful memories that I hope they will cherish as much as I cherish the memories I have of my parents and the holidays. Thank you for sharing your memories with us and for being just a down home southern lady. Hope to see you again soon, Merry Christmas & a very Happy New Year.

By Lori Guyton on December 22, 2009

Thank you Paula, Merry Christmas and Happy Making More Memories this Holiday season. Have a Safe Healthy New Year as well. You are a gift From God so keep it up… xo

By Donna Perez-Santalla on December 22, 2009

I enjoy Bobby’s section on lightening up recipes. My favorite is the gooey butter cake, but recently I have made so many gooey butter cookies for Christmas!

By Kelly Besser on December 21, 2009

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The Gift of Christmas